I normally don't blog about marriage issues, I have been wanting to since the hubby and I got married a while ago. This topic I think is great as an introduction to marriage because I feel I can work on all these myself. Anyone can make self improvements its just up to us to follow through and actually make the effort. One of my favorite sites is Black and Married with Kids. This site always has great inspirational post when it comes to improving your marriage. The article I read today is about 6 Things That Make an Exceptional Spouse (you can read the full article here). One of my goals in life has always been to be a great wife to my husband (and great mother to my children). So I jumped at the chance to see where I was lacking and excelling. I realized I need to improve in almost all these, some more than others. Here they are in a nut shell:
1. Become Great Communicators. "Hearing is different than listening. Hearing is seeking to understand from our spouse’s point of view, not our own. Without really hearing each other, our communication is significantly hindered."
2. Say I am sorry/I forgive you. These two might be very hard to do but when spoken with a true heart can strengthen your marriage and get you to move forward instead of being stuck in the same situation.
3. Share One Anothers Load. When we do this "we demonstrate how much we value them. And thus, put exceptional strength into our relationship."
4. Solve Problems Side by Side. "Change your language from “you”, to “we” and “us”. This will make your spouse feel like you're a team instead of you against them.
5. Compliment (Verbally). We all get comfortable with our spouse. But don't stop saying thank you and giving out compliments to him/her. We have to make it a habit to pay attention to our spouse and let them know it.
6. As our marriage grows we (should) become wiser. If you know there's a hot button topic/word don't use it. A wise spouse avoids the "land mines". "An exceptional spouse is about knowing yourself and being proactive about avoiding big “mess ups”.
I have big slip ups when it comes to communication. The hubby is a great communicator who has worked with me to open up more. But some periods in our marriage I will close up like a calm. I know this is an issue for me but I'm willing to continue to work on this. Point# 2, saying I'm sorry is another issue for me that has gotten better over the years. For me it's always been hard to say this because I realize now I lacked maturity. Now that I've grown it has become easier to say but I'm still struggle here and there. So I realize I still have a lot of work to do and always will (marriage is work) but I'm willing to keep making improvements on myself and my marriage. I try to be the best wife I can be to my husband. What areas do you see yourself needing improvement? Its hard to take a look at yourself and realize you need growth but that's the best part because you know what the problem is and go foward.
Much Love & Fashion Fun,
Tea Todd
(photo from Black and Married with Kids.com)
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